Sunday, February 3, 2008

There are times when something happens to...

allow us glimpses of what Rylee's life was like before joining our family. It is obvious in many ways that she has been loved, but that does not take away the reality of what her life was like without a family. The other day I was showing her pictures from her orphanage and of some of the children that are still there, as well as many of the caretakers. She was telling me which ones she liked and which ones she didn't like. She showed me which bed was hers, where she ate and even squealed with delight upon seeing photos of her friends that went home to their families before she did. Almost all of the care givers she seemed to like, some better than others but she didn't have any strong negative reactions to them. But once I got to a photo of an older child, Rylee started whimpering and tried to climb up me in order to hide behind me. She was saying "NO, NO Xiao Bao not like this one!! This one do this Xiao Bao" - then she smacked herself on the head really hard!!! "She say Xiao Bao not pretty Mama" pointing at herself, she repeatedly hit herself and said "Xiao Bao NOT pretty NO, NO!" and tears filled her eyes. It breaks my heart to think of her there with no one to defend her, or stick up for her. I held her close and told her that the girl would NEVER do that to Xiao Bao again, Mama and Baba would not EVER let that happen. I told her she was safe here and that NO ONE hits her on the head here! I told her how beautiful she is and how much we love her. I learned something about myself too... I learned that in the three months that we have had Rylee with us, she has completely become my daughter! My protective Mama side kicked in with such force, it was almost overwhelming! I can say with 100% certainty that I love this child as fiercely and as intensely as I do my precious Hanna. They are so completely different in personality and attitude. Rylee challenges me in ways that Hanna never did, but they both bring such joy and love into my life. I am so incredibly grateful to be their Mom!!!


  1. What a precious post. That poor sweety pie. I am so glad she has a "mamma bear" now to protect her. She is so beautiful and sweet. Angel

  2. I LOVE the pictures on the beach!!! They are awesome!!!! Plus, she is beautiful. I suppose we should be thankful that that is hopefully the worst that happened to her at the orphanage. Lots of love will make any leftover bad feelings disappear!!!

    We can't wait to meet Rylee on Spring Break!!!


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