Wednesday, October 28, 2009

2 Years Ago Today - I touched my baby for the first time...

One of the first pictures we saw of Rylee was this one...

And now she has grown into this:

I am overwhelmed with emotions today... two years with my baby girl. It is just so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that two years ago today we were nervously waiting in our hotel room for Rylee to arrive. When she did she was scared, reserved and so small! I was so worried about bonding with her and if she would love us... love me... and want me for her mom.

Two years later it hurts to breathe when I think of what life would be like without her. She has so firmly planted herself in my heart that it is almost hard to believe that I did not give birth to her myself. When I look at her, my eyes well up with emotion and I just want to scoop her up and hug her and tell her how happy I am that China let me be her Mama. And I do...

And she laughs at me and says "Oh Mama, I just love you so so so much! You are my best mom ever and China did a good job making us a family, didn't they Mama?"

They did and I am forever grateful!

Thankful for my blog friends...

I haven't had time to get back to all of my blog friends that emailed me and commented on my venting post, but I want you all to know how much it meant to me to have your support, comforting words and encouragement!

We have not solved anything, in fact things have gotten even more ridiculous. So much so that I guess we will have to be seeking legal council. If anyone knows any great attorney's in Birmingham let me know!

Now back to the important stuff - I can't even put into words how it felt for so many of you to reach out to me. You all mean so much to me and I appreciate each and every one of you!

Yes, I am on the emotional side today :) It is our 2 year "Family Day" and my heart is full!

I just wanted to say thank you!!!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Can I just vent for a minute?

I have been sweetly reminded by several people that it is past time for an update but maybe today is not the day I should be doing it...

Today I am angry, frustrated and sick of being nice - always trying to do the right thing and for what? Tired of people taking advantage of us and walking all over us. Job losses... money losses... cranky neighbors that have nothing better to do than stalk our house waiting for my husbands truck to get home so that they can call and complain - I am sick of all of it! Are you offended by a truck in your neighborhood? Seriously we have someone that comes out everyday about the time she thinks he will get home and then she walks around the block until he comes home so that she can call the homeowners association what time the truck entered our driveway. I am a little bit happy when he is late and she has to stay out there for a really long time or even after dark - at least all that walking might counteract the stress that we apparently cause her by parking our truck in our driveway.

Whatever happened to compassion, caring about your neighbors and watching out for each other? Apparently those qualities have long gone away. So if you all believe in prayer then maybe you could pray for me to forgive these people, instead of secretly hoping that a big tree falls on their house and they have to feel a little bit of all that we have been through in the past several months. I know that sounds terrible and I feel bad for feeling this way and I know it's not right, but I just can't seem to make it go away.

Finding a place to keep our Snap On truck has been complicated. There is valuable equipment on it that has to be protected. If the truck is not on our property then it has to be in secured storage with surveillance or else our insurance is not valid. When Pat lost his job - we lost our second car and just don't have the means to replace it right now. We are so fortunate that one of our friends has loaned us a car to use for emergencies and today agreed to let Pat drive it back and forth to the storage place for now. There is a lot more but I won't bore you all with the details...

So the bottom line here - what has gotten me so upset is that we have made the arrangements that we needed to, arranged for the use of the car and just needed a couple of more days to get a paycheck so that we could go pay for the storage space on Saturday and when Pat came home on Thursday night - they closed the neighborhood gate on him and would not let him come in. We live about 4 miles from the gate so with dinner on the stove I had to grab the kids and go pick him up. The truck had to remain outside the neighborhood, they would not allow it to come in. The problem is that the office had given us the temporary variance and was tired of this certain couple of people calling and yelling at him for our truck being here, that he closed the gate on us. With no notice that our temporary variance had ended!!!

It took 45 minutes into my cardio workout this morning before I started to feel better, but then by the time I finished my shower I was steamed again! My issue with the whole thing is that not one of the complainers EVER came to us and bothered to ask us what was going on. Why we suddenly had this truck, how long we planned on keeping it there or anything! I guess they prefer a foreclosure sign instead - which may or may not still show up... That still remains to be seen.

So how does a person deal with all the stress that life in todays world deals out? I'm going to share with you the secret of how to cope...

Help make a difference in the lives of children in need. Now is the time to sponsor a child.

The secret is to take your eyes off yourself and take a look at someone that has it so much harder than you do... sponsor a child, feed a homeless person, love an orphan and don't forget to thank God for the many blessings that you do have!

One of my dreams is to someday be a Compassion Blogger and when I went in to church all angry at God for mountain after mountain that has been placed in our lives (not that I think He placed them there because I certainly do not - but I know He could take them away if He chose to) I was all set to sit there and show Him how I was there to worship even when I was ticked off at Him.

Then the Compassion International slide lit up the screen and my heart melted. In one short breath God reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for and that there are so many people in this world that are so much worse off than we are and live daily lives that we can only imagine. How selfish to be wallowing in my own struggles and not taking the time to notice the needs around me.

Our sponsored child is from the Dominican Republic and she is the same age as Rylee (6 yrs). The girls actually picked what child we would sponsor and then came home and made cards for her. We have our first letter ready to send out to her, I just have to print a family picture to include with the letter. Nothing lifts your spirits better than helping someone that really needs it! You can try it too - look around and find someone that is worse off than you are and smile at them, give them a hug, do whatever you can - it doesn't matter what it is as long as it comes from your heart!

I wish peace to all of you and a wonderful weekend!