The sweetest story...

If you want to read about the sweetest gotcha day go check out my online friends story of meeting her new 8 year old son. He is amazing and we can't wait to meet Ty when he comes home to Alabama! What a sweet boy!!! Click here to go to their story Http://www.sayhi2ty.blogspot.com/

A Rylee update will follow soon!

Rylee sees an "old" friend...

We just got back from a trip to the beach where we were able to meet up with another family that has adopted twice from the same orphanage that Rylee is from. They have a teenage daughter that helped to care for Rylee a couple of years ago. I was a little nervous about her reaction but knew from pictures that Rylee does remember this girl. I had told Rylee that we were going to visit this friend and I am sure no matter how much I tried to explain that we were going to Florida to see her, Ry thought that we were going to China. She would ask every day "Mama we go China today, see my friend?" I would tell her that we were not going to China but that her friend has her own family and they live in Florida and that we were going to FL to visit. Finally the day before we left she told me with a very serious face "Mama, I don't want go to China, I stay with Mama! I wanna stay you Mama!". I sat her on my lap and told her that we are her family and that she stays with us always. We are going to visit and play with her friend, but then we would all come home together. She said "Okay Mama, it okay".

We got to the beach Thursday and the beach and pool were a smashing success! Rylee loved the water and even the sand and waves of the ocean! Friday the other family arrived and Rylee grabbed right on to the 5 - almost 6- year old girls, but essentially ignored the older girl that Rylee actually knows. She wouldn't really talk to her or even look at her and I didn't want her feelings to be hurt because of this. Finally I pulled Rylee aside and asked her if she remembered this person. She said "Sure Mama, sure I do" I said "Why don't you say hello to her? She has missed you and wanted to see you? Can you say Hi to her?" Rylee said "Who dis person Mama? Where this friend?" So I pointed to her (she was basically right in front of us) and Rylee said "I don't see her, she not here!" (pretending to not see her) So I told her that I thought she might be worried that she was going to go with this friend, but she would always stay with Mama. I told her that she could talk to her friend and play with her friend and that it was okay, she was not going back to China, she was staying with Mama! She finally said okay and went over by her friend. She interacted with her just a little during the two days and had a whole lot of fun learning to swim and playing with the other girls.

After they left and I had a chance to talk with Rylee about it I asked her if she remembered her friend. She said "Sure I do Mama, she take care of me just a little bit - like a tiny baby bit. She take me to play en park! She tell stories and sing. I not sing though cuz I just a little bit baby" "Lots I take care of myself China Mama" I asked her if she liked this friend and was glad to see her. Rylee said "Sure Mama I like her, she my friend, I stay Mama I LOVE you Mama! In China I big, I cook myself an make congee with banana. I have milk 1 cup an 1 cup water an mix it like this, I do it myself" she mimics stirring "Dis really good Mama!", surprised I said "You drank milk in China? Why don't you drink milk here?" Her answer - "You don't make 1 cup milk and 1 cup water Mama, dis bery yummy like dis!" I asked her what else she likes and she told me "Banana cookies! and noodles an mix vegbles together Mama dis bery yummy too!" (she does not eat veggies at all except corn!) "En soups mama, I like soups and flies (means rice)!

Some things we learned this weekend:

• The orphanage had a cow and the kids had fresh milk every day.
• Rylee was called by another name that means "Little Dragon or Dragon Baby", how appropriate is that!!!!
• She was able to roam the orphanage unattended and pretty much could do whatever she wanted. (this we had already figured out)
• Rylee was not as bossy in China (but given the nickname???)
• Rylee is an excellent actress (this we had already figured out also)
• Rylee likes milk (big shock to me)
• The kids had meat twice a week
• The orphanage grows their own vegetables
• Rylee had been in school for a couple of years and all the kids walked there by themselves
• In school they were treated differently because they did not have families
  

I am so very thankful to our new friends for giving us a glimps into our daughters past. What a blessing to be able to have this part of Rylee's past and to share it with her! Below are a few pictures from our trip...

**Rylee turns 5**

"Mama I big now, I five", Rylee states showing me all 5 fingers for emphasis. Suddenly she looks concerned "I Mama's little baby, right Mama?" I tell her that yes she is, and always will be, my little baby even though she is a big 5! "Okay Mama, it's okay!"

When she was asked what she wanted for her birthday she was 100% certain that she wanted a balloon and bubbles! I took her to pick out her balloons and she found one she wanted that had princesses on it and sang "Happy Birthday" when you hit it. Thank goodness she insisted on only wanting one because when we got to the check out we found out that this one balloon was like $15.00. Thank goodness she didn't want six :)

We get half way home with the treasured balloon and Rylee starts to get annoyed with the balloon. "Hey Mama this girl not singing right! She not say Rylee... she not say my name!" I said "Well Ry, she didn't know your name when she sang that song" so she pulls the balloon down even with her face and said "Hey you listen me! You not sing right, my name es Rylee, RYLEE! Say it now - do it right!! GO NOW!" and she smacks the balloon, eagerly waiting for her name to be announced in the middle of the song. I watch in the rear view mirror as her smile fades from her face as once again the princess sang the birthday song without putting Rylee's name in it. So yes, she continued to tell the balloon off then entire ride home, it was just too funny! She still loves the balloon, but is forever annoyed with the princesses for not singing the song correctly!

Summer break is in full swing here and the heat and humidity have arrived. The girls have discovered how to beat the heat - check out the slide show:

Way overdue update!!!

Gosh, it's been too long - where to even start? Bonding, eating issues, the non-stop chatter, Mother's Day, Rylee's upcoming 5th birthday, passing the 6 month home mark... hmmmm??? I think I will go with bonding and attachment. I think Rylee is bonding well with us and sometimes I think she really understands that we are her family. She questions everyone about how many babies they have and where they are, where they live and so on. If it is a man and a women, she will always ask the woman "Dis you Daddy?". We talk a lot about families and the role that each has in our home. How do you teach the concept of family to someone that has never had one? We spent the first months telling her that she is our baby, I am her Mama and so on. Now I ask her "Who's baby are you?" and she will tell me "Dis you baby Mama", and I ask her "Who's your Mama?" and she will point to me. She doesn't "family shop" anymore (you know... being on the lookout for a possible better family), unless maybe if they have a swimming pool. She tells me that she loves me "bery much" and that she "want stay wit Mama". For the first time the other day when someone asked her if she was their baby, she shook her head no (but a little uncertain) and said "I Mama's baby" and pointed to me. She looked at me for confirmation, I smiled and nodded at her, she broke out a huge grin and I broke out the Kleenex! She no longer refers to herself as Xiao Bao as in "Xiao Bao want this, Xiao Bao do this..." now it is "Poor Mama's Baby, Mama, I fall down." My favorite: "I love you, Mama!"

We went through about three months of really bad stuttering. The stuttering seems to be pretty much gone now and in its place is about a million words! She talks nonstop with her favorite questions being "Why". Here is a typical conversation:

Mama: "Come here Ry"
Rylee: "Why"
Mama: "Because, I need to talk to you"
Rylee: "Why, Mama?"
Mama: "Just come here, Rylee"
Rylee: "But why Mama?"
Mama: "Rylee, when Mama asks you to come here, you need to just come, not ask why"
Rylee: "Okay Mama, I commin' - but why?"
Mama: "Rylee, please just come here"
Rylee: "Yes Mama?"
Mama: "Thank you Rylee, now next time just come here when Mama asks you too, don't ask why"
Rylee: "Okay Mama, bye bye" as she takes off running.
Mama: "Rylee wait, we didn't talk about why I needed you in the first place!"
Rylee: "WHY Mama (not why did you need me in the first place, but why do I have to come back)?"
Mama: "Rylee what did I just tell you"
Rylee: "Oh I sorry Mama, you say don't say why, I say why - dis funny right?"
Mama: "No, this is not funny"
Rylee: "Why Mama, why not funny?"
....

Rylee was in her first horse show. She won a blue ribbon in lead line and also in the stick horse competition (see slideshow for photos). She was beaming the entire time and looked absolutely adorable. While she was waiting to enter the arena for the stick horse competition they announced the singer for the National Anthem. Rylee was standing by the gate along with many other people and I was a bit behind her. She hears the music start and waits for the first couple of words of the song and then at the quietest possible moment turns around to me and said "OH NO MAMA, I DON"T LIKE THIS SONG!!! MAMA, I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE!" Yep - that's my girl!!! Everyone turned around, but I just stared straight ahead... Unfortunately, the person standing next to me shook with silent laughter through the entire song. It made it very difficult to keep a straight face and pretend I didn't know who she was talking to ;)

Tennis Shoes or Flip Flops?

This morning when I picked Rylee up from school she stopped by the Directors Office (Ms. B) to get a sticker and say goodbye to her. Well, today there was a visitor in Ms. B's office (which by the way did not dissuade Rylee in the least from barging in and getting her sticker), who turned out to be the Regional Director. We spoke with him briefly and then he mentioned that Rylee should not be wearing flip flops to school. Rylee loves her flip flops and does not like closed shoes because they make her feet hot. I had already discussed this with the Director and we had compromised to let Rylee wear her flip flops to school but take her tennis shoes for outdoor play or any other time that they may be needed. I explained this to the Regional Director as well as telling him that I am choosing my battles right now, but he was pretty insistent that she not wear those shoes so I said okay, well then feel free to tell her that. He looked at me a little strangely and said "You want me to tell her?" I said "Sure, if you don't mind" at the same time I was biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. I glanced at Ms. B but she could not even stop the grin from entering her face! So he turns to Rylee and tells her that she cannot wear those kind of shoes to school because her toes might get hurt. Rylee, who was concentrating on picking out just the right sticker looked at him, planted an amazingly adult looking scowl on her face and said "Huh? Mine no have ouchie!" He explained it to her again and she pointed at him "Where's you house? Xiao Bao no ouchie, Xiao Bao have dis one shoes, YOU NO SAY ME OUCHIE!" She proceeded to stare him down until he looked at me and told me that he has little kids of his own and that you just have to use a different psychology - at this point I am barely holding it together because I KNOW what is coming!!! I just managed a sort of grunt and turned back to Rylee. He tried again but Rylee stopped him mid-sentence "Where you house? You go you house and no tell mine no shoes!!! THIS NO OUCHIE!! Xiao Bao like Ms. B she no say ouchie, I smoocha her, I NO SMOOCHA YOU!!!" She went over and hugged Ms. B and gave her a kiss and pointed her finger again at the R.D. "DIS NO OUCHIE, Common Mama lets GO!!!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door, shaking her head and sputtering the whole time about this man!

Xiao Bao wanna Mama!

Yesterday I unpacked a box that had a bunch of photos in it. Rylee saw this one and squealed "Oooooh mine love this one Mama! Can I have it?" We looked at the picture together and she told me that she loved this one (she is the assistant director at the orphanage). I asked Rylee what her name was, she thought about it for a while and then said "I dunno? Hmmmmm...", I asked her what she called her when she talked to her, she said "nothing". I don't know if she has forgotten or if she really never had a name to call her. Rylee was looking at the picture and the said "see this one smile Mama? Xiao Bao no smile." I said that I know, how come she looked so sad, was she sick or tired? She said "No, Xiao Bao not smile because Xiao Bao wanna Mama and you no come! Xiao Bao wanna you!"

She is very proud to have a Mama and I think she is starting to understand family. When we go somewhere if anyone even looks at her she will point to me and say "Dis MY Mama!", now she is starting to ask other people if they have babies. If they are with kids she will ask them "You dis one Mama - dis you baby?". Yesterday she asked if our dogs were her brothers. She is really thinking about this and trying to understand the connections.

We had our 6 month post placement visit the other night. It has only been 5 months, but we needed to get it started so we can be sure to get it in on time. When our social worker came in the door, Rylee immediately pulled her hand and told her that she wanted to show her "mine room". She showed her the bedrooms, playroom, a bathroom and then took her into the kitchen. She showed her were the food is, where we cook, where the water is and how we get it and the dishwasher. Now we did not tell her anything about this visit except to tell her that someone was coming over for a visit. It was so funny because she does NOT routinely show people around the house like that! After that she told everybody to sit down (told us and showed each of us where we were required to sit) and she disappeared into the bathroom to prepare herself for the performance. She called Jia Jia into the room and then Hanna popped back out to announce the famous horse rider that was about to make an appearance. She came out at full canter on a stick horse, made a few passes and waited until she heard the appropriate amount of applause before she disappeared again. When she came back out she turned into a cat. Now we would not have been surprised at a dog or a horse - but she has never been a cat before - not ever - and she has not been one since?!?!?! Our social worker didn't seem phased by any of this at all, so hopefully she will tell China that Rylee is adjusting very nicely to her new life as a performer/kitty!

A few photos from the past couple of months:

Rylee attended her first horse show!

Loving the new "bubble tub"!

First snow, Hanna has waited 2 years for this!

Hanging out with Minnie

Doesn't she look bigger?

I think her personality just shines through in this photo!

My new all time favorite song:

Sung to the tune of "Are You Sleeping"

Xiao Bao love Mama
Xiao Bao love Mama

Xiao Bao love you
Xiao Bao love you

Xiao Bao love JiaJia
Xiao Bao love JiaJia

Xiao Bao love Baba
Xiao Bao love Baba

Verse two:

Xiao Bao love you
Xiao Bao love you

Xiao Bao love Scruffy
Xiao Bao love Scrappy

Xiao Bao no juju (sleep)
Xiao Bao no juju (sleep)

Xiao Bao love you!
Xiao Bao love you!

Life has been a whirlwind this past month...

We have been out of touch without Internet for the past 10 days and have also had a very busy month! You may or may not know that just before we were to travel to China to bring Rylee home, Pat lost his job. We had to do anything possible to complete the adoption that we had been working towards for the past three years. This ended up to be that we had to accept a position about 600 miles away from the place we considered our home. We had to leave everything behind including our support system that we had in place for when we finally were able to bring Rylee home. We were devastated really, but did what we had to do to get our child. We were able to complete our adoption and tried to get settled in to our new area, it was okay but just not home. The transition was especially hard on our 8 year old, as she not only had to leave her school and friends but also her beloved horse, Minnie. She was a real trooper and we all tried to make the best of the situation. Well, a few weeks ago (about 4) we were offered the opportunity to return "home"! We are thrilled to be home and surrounded by our friends again and Rylee is settling in very nicely. She adores all of our friends and keeps trying to talk everyone in to "come to mine house!"

I will post more details later on how Rylee is doing and post new pictures. I just wanted to let everyone know why we sort of "disappeared" for a little while!

There are times when something happens to...

allow us glimpses of what Rylee's life was like before joining our family. It is obvious in many ways that she has been loved, but that does not take away the reality of what her life was like without a family. The other day I was showing her pictures from her orphanage and of some of the children that are still there, as well as many of the caretakers. She was telling me which ones she liked and which ones she didn't like. She showed me which bed was hers, where she ate and even squealed with delight upon seeing photos of her friends that went home to their families before she did. Almost all of the care givers she seemed to like, some better than others but she didn't have any strong negative reactions to them. But once I got to a photo of an older child, Rylee started whimpering and tried to climb up me in order to hide behind me. She was saying "NO, NO Xiao Bao not like this one!! This one do this Xiao Bao" - then she smacked herself on the head really hard!!! "She say Xiao Bao not pretty Mama" pointing at herself, she repeatedly hit herself and said "Xiao Bao NOT pretty NO, NO!" and tears filled her eyes. It breaks my heart to think of her there with no one to defend her, or stick up for her. I held her close and told her that the girl would NEVER do that to Xiao Bao again, Mama and Baba would not EVER let that happen. I told her she was safe here and that NO ONE hits her on the head here! I told her how beautiful she is and how much we love her. I learned something about myself too... I learned that in the three months that we have had Rylee with us, she has completely become my daughter! My protective Mama side kicked in with such force, it was almost overwhelming! I can say with 100% certainty that I love this child as fiercely and as intensely as I do my precious Hanna. They are so completely different in personality and attitude. Rylee challenges me in ways that Hanna never did, but they both bring such joy and love into my life. I am so incredibly grateful to be their Mom!!!

WE WON!!! WE WON!!! WE WON!!!

This is just so awesome that Love Without Boundaries has won first place in the contest!!! Yahoo - this money will help so many adorable kids, some of which may not live without their medical help.

Can you help?

Love Without Boundaries is one of my favorite charities. They are involved in helping orphans in China and are currently in the running in a challenge on Facebook. They are so close to winning the $50,000 grand prize but need all the help they can get. Please check them out and see if you can help. $10 is the minimum donation amount that will count towards this contest!

http://apps.facebook.com/causes/view_cause/51591

Some misc. photos

MAMA Xiao Bao Silly Boy!!!

Rylee and I have been having this ongoing conversation for a few weeks now. She tells me "Mama Xiao Bao boy" and I tell her she is a girl. Mama is a girl, Jia Jia is a girl, Baba is a boy, Scrappy is a boy, Scruffy is a boy and so on... Usually she gives up and just laughs at me, sometimes she will say Xiao Bao is a girl, but I really get the feeling she is just humoring me. So we start this at dinner again the other night and this time she is telling me that she is a silly boy. I go into my correction "speech" blah blah blah... and you could just tell by the look on her face that she is finally thoroughly frustrated with me. "MAMA" she states, "XIAO BAO IS A SILLY BOY", and to prove it to me once and for all, she yanks her shirt up all the way to her neck, pointing and showing me the proof that will FINALLY convince me that she is in fact a boy!

My silly, silly girl! Apparently it was time for a little a little anatomy lesson. We had a little discussion about how we know, and she can know, that she is a girl and you could almost see the "light bulb" go off. She lit up and clapped her hands saying "Xiao Bao is a girl!!!". Today she came down carrying a little bikini top she had found in her dresser. She hands it to me saying "Mama Xiao Bao girl - have this one". So I put it on her, she puts her shirt on over it, smiles proudly at me, points to herself and smugly states - "Xiao Bao's a girl Mama"! Yes, yes, yes baby you are a precious, adorable, lovable girl!

Hanna has just learned to ride her bike, so the girls have been going for lots of bike rides and both of them are doing great. The only problem is that Rylee wants her training wheels off so she can ride like her Jia Jia, but Mama is not ready for that yet!

Speaking of riding... I just have to mention how great Hanna is doing with her riding. She had to switch riding styles when we moved and now she's getting ready for her first show in the Hunter/Jumper discipline. While Mom would like to just stick to the ground work, Hanna has decided that there is a thrill in flying through the air on the back of a horse! I suppose this means that trick riding is in the future for Rylee, since I have a feeling she will have to try to "one up" her Jia Jia - lol!!!

First Week of Preschool!

We had Rylee's first week at preschool and it went great! But first I just have to tell about our trip to Medieval Times Dinner Show. Hanna really wanted to go for her birthday, so we decided to go ahead and give it a try. While we were sitting there waiting for the show to start Rylee "ooh'd and aaah'd" over the pretty lights, the mist and the fact that we had dishes sitting in front of us but no silverware. Once the show started she was thrilled to see the horses come out and stared wide eyed trying to take everything in. One knight took on another in a fight to the "death" as he fell from his horse, I heard gasps from beside me. I quickly tried to explain that he was okay, that he wasn't really hurt and that they are just playing. She said "okay Mama, it's okay." The next round started with jousting and as the next knight "fell" we all heard "OH NO MAMA, MAMA, IT'S OKAY, HE'S OKAY, HE'S OKAY YESHEE!!!!!!!!". She cheered for our colors, enjoyed eating with her fingers and assured us that each knight that fell was OKAY!!! After the show she went around to all the knights and got them to sign her photograph. The girls both had a blast and gained some great skills at collapsing and dramatic "pass outs", they have been refining these new skills continuously this past week. Even a tap on the shoulder gets the full drawn out collapse accompanied by very convincing grunts and groans!
We also have now experienced the first amusement park rides. Rylee of course was up for any and all rides and loved each of them. Apparently she has no fear of heights or speed and is now doing her best to convince us that she is ready for all the big water slides that can be seen from the car windows. Every time she spots one she yells out "MAMA XIAO BAO LIKE THIS ONE!!!", the hard part is going to be convincing Hanna to go on them with her or Baba!!!
Food update: Breakfast of choice is sheets of seaweed, a big bowl of congee and a side of fruit! However, she has discovered that she does like Johnny Rocket's french fries and strawberry shakes! It's a no go though on the hot dogs, burgers or almost anything that contains meat or vegetables! That is until she went to school! The first day I went to pick her up she was eating her second bowl of vegetable soup - including the carrots which she had basically gagged on when I gave them to her. She also has eaten peanut butter and banana sandwiches, green beans, ravioli, cereal and fish crackers. These are all things that she had asked for seconds on and all things that I had tried with her, but she wouldn't eat them! I think it really helped to see the other kids eating these things and liking them!
Her preschool is at a gymnastics school where she attends the morning session and I pick her up right after lunch. She gets to have gymnastics classes three times per week while at school and so far she really seems to be enjoying it. It is hard to send a child to school that can't tell you how the day went though! They told me that the first day she was really quiet and mostly just watched the other kids. The second day she started interacting with the kids a bit more and on the third day they said she walked in and acted like she had been going there her whole life. It is exactly the same way she approached joining our family. She observed us for a while, tentatively started to join in a bit and then finally decided that yes this is my family and she jumped right in! She sits with the girls and glares at the boys, sometimes she plugs her nose and points at them. Maybe I need to find her some nice boys to play with!

She was so excited to show me what she learned in her gymnastics class that on our way out of the building she said "Mama Mama Xiao Bao this school", kicked her feet up in the air and flipped over trying to land in a back bend, but really was more of a flat out thud right there on the hard tile floor. I quick scooped her up and she looked a little stunned, but then she put her arms right back up to try it again. I carried her the rest of the way out and to the car - she can perfect it at home on the carpet!

She is becoming more and more affectionate, freely giving sweet hugs and kisses. On her third day of preschool when I got there to pick her up, instead of the smile and wave I had gotten the first two days, she jumped up and came running over with a great big grin and yelling "MAMA MAMA" and leaped into my arms hugging and kissing me.

Happy Birthday Jia Jia!!!

Rylee has now learned the Happy Birthday song and has been singing it to her sister all day! Happy Birthday Hanna, we love you so much!!!